Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Paradox State of Mind

I go through stages where I blog more than others. Sometimes I just blog for big events, and sometimes I blog about random things. Nothing big has happened, and I also don't have some random thought that I felt the need to "blog it out." This post is just because sometime the heart/soul need to wander within itself.

One of the weirdest feelings is experiencing a paradox. Lately it feels like my life has become a paradox. For example, this semester (or I guess this whole first year) has gone by really fast and incredibly slow. I feel like I have enough social activity and I feel like I need more. Some people I wish would never have come into life but yet I'm thankful and needed them in life to continue evolving into who I am. This continual state of paradox reminds me of something one of my American history professors said at the beginning of the semester. Competing values (night and day, earth and sea) are equally good and complementary, but the best happens is when there is tension between the two competing values (i.e. the coast is the tension between earth and sea). These relationship of competing values has proven to be true in American history, because the best things have happened when there was tension. For example during the Revolutionary period there was those who opposed the Articles of Confederation, and some who didn't. These competing values created tension, resulting in the Constitution. This also made me think that maybe the Shimmer Sparkle Shine Project was founded on an internal paradox. I started to learn to love myself but I still struggled with my self worth at the same time. Learning to love myself allowed myself to think clearly, and the presence of struggle allowed me to recognize the degree and severity of the causes and results of low self esteem. The tension between these two ideals resulted in the Shimmer Sparkle Shine Project. So maybe this current state of paradox in my life is creating an ideal situation, and it just hasn't fully developed or I haven't realized it yet. 

These next few weeks before I go home will be busy with writing my paper for history 264 on the evolution of American Foreign Policy. I will be working with my group to compose an Encyclopedia of where American History and Mormon History intersect for my history 262 class. Plus studying for finals, packing and getting ready to resume my life currently paused in Colorado.
Off to bed!
Keep it thirsty!
With Love,
Ciara Ann

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