You see my mom scrapbooks ALOT. We have a whole Ciara collection, then a family one. Personally, I always learn something from the family ones because I don't look at them often, and was too young for some of the memories. I have this feeling sometimes that I have no family, and tonight was one of those nights. I read through 10+ scrapbooks, and saw my Grandpa Roger, my Grandma Butt, my Grandma Neill, my Nana,and my Grandma Barb all apart of my life. Some I had the privilege to have around in my life more then others. For a momment I would like to talk about each relative who has passed away and what they mean to me, some may have pictures, but I cant find my camera to take some of people in the scrapbooks, so Ill do the best I can.
First, my Grandma Butt. You are probally laughing at the name. It was a joke my grandpa made, but has stuck ever since. She had a long battle in Hospice and past away December 31, 1999, right before the New Millennium. I have memories of making things for her in preschool, and bringing her cookies with grandpa. As I look through the albums I think if she were around now, we would have good laughs, and seemed like such a fun person. I was only 4 when she passed away. This is a photo of my grandma butt holding my mom as a baby. Can you see the family line?
Next is my Nana. She was my moms step grandmother. I could remember her painting ceramics with me, and always having old fashioned things, that I would now probally find cool. No picture to post, but I miss her too.
Now is my Grandma Neill, my dads mom. This was another not so great death, but I was in Middle School, it was the first death I had been really old enough to experience. She would cook me my favorite Mozzerlla Cheesse and Chocolate Peanute Butter Quesidillas. Weird, I know. She cooked weird, but I miss her presence, because honestly I am not going to lie, I feel like the whole Neill side of my family has changed since her death. Christmas Eves are spend apart rather then together, and her spirit is what kept the Neill family going. Kind of blurry photo, but it came from my Dads facebook.
Now is I think one of the two most impactful people in my life, my Grandma Roger. This is what gets me emotional. Everyone says that I was the one who changed him, and made him a good man. I was everything to him. He had his mean moments, but inside he was a lovable funny guy. He took me to the coffee shop every morning, gave me pie for breakfast, and gave me endless one dollar bills to play the claw machine. The list of memories goes on, but what I cherish most is the time he lived with us. He was to me like mighty mouse was to him. He is often my hero, and someone who I will forever miss.
Now is my Grandma Barb, this is hard to talk about still because she passed away a death that I had to watch this past June. She wasn't my blood Grandmother, but she surely acted the part. She was always so fun and accepting, and there isn't a day I don't think about her. I miss her Banana Bread Oatmeal made with "love".
The most securing thought about all this is the thought that one day I can hug all these people again, and tell them how much they mean to me, I know that I will see them.
Throughout the scrapbooks were people constant in my life. First was my Uncle Byron. He is my dad, friend, and uncle all in one. He lets me do things that mommy wouldn't and would drop anything for me if needed. I love him soo much and I don't think any Uncle could be as great as him.
Aunt Tammy, this women may be crazy sometimes but I still love her to death. She makes me laugh, smile, and even roll my eyes at every restraunt. I miss the days in the trailer park baking pre-packed cookies, and I will never give up the nights playing late night Bingo with her. She is one in a million!!
These people have always been there, but the past 6 or so years a few other family members have joined the band wagon, and are people I couldn't imagine life without.
First is Aunt Sandy, she has been here throughout my whole life but since 8th grade is when my connection really grew with her. She is the hippest old lady i know :P. She is such an accepting lady, and is always there when you need some love. This picture is special, because this is the first time Aunt Sandy ever saw me.
Now is my 2nd Mom and Sister; Shari and Shaelyn. I would first like to say that Shari is one of the stongest women I have ever met, and is always willing to help others and can see past her own battles. Cancer is an ugly thing, but somewhat a blessing because we really became a family. In this process came Shaelyn. She was the first baby born for me to understand in, and we are only 7 years apart, large but not. I love her like shes my sister, and I would do anything for her like a big sister.
There has even been the whole Nemnich Crew added since Doug came along, to many to name but I love them all so much. By far though, is my cousins; Mckay, Taylor, and Tanner. They mean more to me then they realize. I love them so much and I see them as my brothers, my cousins, and my best friends.
This next one may shock people, but this women has grown on me to no end, she is like family, and I care about her like family. He is one of the hardest working people I know, Lesley. She is so great, and such an awesome spirited lady, who I love.
Now I know I have other family, but these people are the people I think about day and night, who I see most often, who I have the chance to say, "I love you to the most." These next three people are the biggest impacts.
Doug, he may be a trouble maker, but a good pick for one. He makes me laugh, scream, and cry, but most of all did I mention Laughing? He does care about me I can tell in his eyes when I am in a time of sadness, he may not be verbel but I can tell. I love hiding the cats mouse back in forth in a game that never ends. I can say, I love my step father.
Now my father, the sperm doner. LOL. This guy is a peice of me I can never get rid of. He loves me so much, and I have an unconditional love for him as well. He may be dumb at times but he is my dad. I cherish every moment with him because I love to feel his butterfly kisses.
Now the best for last. My mother, my mom, my confidant, my wonder twin, my thrifter, my personal shopper, my cook, my taxi cab driver, but most of all my friend. My mom puts up with an abnormal child for sure, and she does it with love. I don't think anyone can be as incredible as her. I love her so much and I can't even begin to describe it here, it is just a love in your heart you can't express in words.
This is MY UNIQUE and CRAZY FAMILY! and the greatest part, is we don't all share the same blood. My family is living proof of how the relationships can grow. Since I am an only child like my mom I think about my family in 10 years or 20 years, who will be my kids aunt and uncle. These people I am about to talk about will be it, I know it.
First is Bruna, she is the greatest person I have ever met, and I am not kidding when I say this. She loves me through all the points I gain, through all my always touches, through my crazy bi-polar life. Yet she still finds a place to always love me. I know that when I am married my kids will be calling her Aunt Bruna because she is my heavenly sister.
This one I cant decide, Aunt or Uncle. He is my sister... Konner, we may not be attached at the hip but he is still my family and will always be someeone I have to have around to be my Byron forever. He makes me laugh till I pee, and we share some the the greatest memories. I thank the day we stopped for Elmo because that is when the sisterhood started, he will be one of my family forever.
This girl has been around forever, Anna. This has taught me about life, and if we can be friends for 13 years, I am sure we have till we die to go. She will be the friends who travels around the world to only sleep on my couch, but thats okay cus I love her.
This may have been a really long post, but that need to share my feelings was needed since I miss the ones who are not here. I am thankful for the family I do have, and all they do. I love you guys! and sorry for the spelling errors its 2 AM.
Keep Calm and Carry On,
Ciara
